sigh.

i am getting really sick of hearing myself whine.but, what to do? this is how i feel. until i can find a way to readjust or block, or something changes, whatever. i just have to be honest with myself. lying to myself wouldn't do any good. i'd still feel the same underneath; it would still resurface.and i also have to give myself a break, i suppose. i mean it hasn't even been a month since this shit unofficially went down, and only 2 weeks since it officially did.so yeah... that's ok i guess. if i am still feeling this way after 2 months, now that is different.. something needs to have changed by then, internally or externally or both.. but 2 weeks? yeah i think i'm actually doing exceptionally well. so, i will continue to bitch then. hehehe.i miss him a whole lot, in all ways. that's really all there is to it.next week is going to hurt, hurt, hurt.that is all. byebye.